“He who is without oil, shall throw the first rod” is a saying found on t-shirts and car repair shop signs. Car people understand. It says, check your oil lest your crankcase become dry and a piston rod seize up and you blow the engine.
Marlene and I, almost daily, have breakfast and devotions overlooking Lake Michigan at Holland State Park and in the afternoon have coffee at Windmill Island Gardens. We are not sure if this is the best use of our time and resources and wonder about the long-term effect of too many donuts and muffins. To help us feel better about this indulgence, we occasionally say, “It’s cheaper than a therapist.”
Coffee and donuts is one of our mechanisms for maintaining mental health and coping with life-challenges. It keeps us from “running out of oil.” There are other things that can also be done to enrich personal health. We work on these as well, sometimes more successfully than others. Here is a list. Please note. I am not a mental health professional and can only say that these make sense to me, from my own unique and, admittedly, sometimes quirky perspective. Some of these ideas come from the website, www.therapistaid.com.
Exercise. Only do the kind of exercise that you enjoy. The key word is “enjoy.” You will not stay with activities that are not fun for you. Exercise for me is walking while listening to mystery-action audiobooks, using an elliptical machine, triking (biking), and most recently, pickleball. Other exercise options could include exercise videos, running, spiritual exercise (e.g., 1 Timothy 4:8), swimming, weightlifting, or yoga. Pick what is right for you.
Be sociable. For us, this means getting together with our kids and grandkids, with a church small group, and attending adult church education classes. We often have a Friday night meal with our kids and grandkids. Being with family and friends is somehow invigorating. Other examples of healthful group experience can involve things like organizing a group dinner, calling or texting a friend, playing a board or card game, attending a concert or football game, and joining a class or club or group. Isolation is often associated with depression. So it can also be worth participating in a social experience even when we may not feel like it.
Have projects. Some projects are more fun than others. We try for those that intrigue, satisfy, bring joy, and are fulfilling. For example, Marlene enjoys gardening, but gardening makes me depressed. Instead, I like planning trips, writing research proposals (strange, hey?), and fixing things. I just finished restoring a garden lighthouse and am now looking for the next broken or deteriorated thing to redeem. It might be a windmill. Other projects could include home maintenance, car restoration, sewing, or quilting.
Develop special interests. I have three “go-to” areas of special interest: computers, cruises, and cooking. When we go to Sam’s Club, the computer department is always my first stop. We average one cruise a year. I subscribe to cruise podcasts and several news feeds. Marlene and I discuss meal preparation daily because we both like to cook. I specialize in chili, ribs, and flaming desserts, and my culinary equipment includes pressure cookers, cast aluminum and iron cookware, sou vie, and induction cooking. Marlene creates incredible crème brules, sausage biscuits, birthday cakes, and so much more. Examples of other interests are art, Bible memory, church activities, coaching or mentoring, collecting antiques, hiking, meditation, music, pets, or professional development.
Serve others. We like to invest in friends and family. The words of Jesus as quoted by Paul are, “It is more blessed to give than receive” (Acts 20:25). Serving was a characteristic of the early church and should be for us as well. We look for ways to support family members, serve as volunteers in a citizenship class, and coordinate a Fellowship Group (small group). Marlene fixes meals for friends and neighbors who are ill. I trike with a friend who uses a handcycle. Churches and community organizations abound with service opportunities. The key is to participate in ways that affirm one’s gifts, abilities, interests, and strengths, rather than draining our energy, bringing unhealthy stress, and causing us to feel that we are being used or even abused.
I began this post with a saying about car maintenance. “He who is without oil, shall throw the first rod.” This is actually an adaptation of John 8:7, “Let he or she who is without sin throw the first stone.” One of the truths underlying these quotes about “throwing a rod” and “throwing a stone” is that we ought to spend more time focusing on maintaining our mental and spiritual health than neglecting self and criticizing others. This self-maintenance for me includes exercise, being social, having projects and special interests, and serving others. How about you?
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