The Family that Plays Together Stays Together

Our family thrives on having good times together. So when our friend, Lynn Bunnell, a Therapeutic Recreation Specialist, showed me a worksheet packet from one of her seminars, I asked her for permission to make it into a blog. Here is my adaptation of her good work.

The Importance of Family Play Time

In today's fast-paced world, it's easy to overlook the importance of family leisure time. However, research and expert opinions suggest that engaging in play and recreational activities as a family unit can have profound benefits for both individual family members and the family as a whole. This blog post explores the concept of family play, its benefits, and practical ways to incorporate it into your life.

Understanding Leisure and Family Play

Leisure is more than just free time. According to Therapeutic Recreation Specialist Lynn Bunnell, it's an experience that can bring joy, acceleration, and pleasure. It's important to note that:

Leisure is a personal experience that must come from within,

The attitude towards an activity often determines whether it's truly leisure, and

It's a state of mind, reflecting a positive attitude toward life and living.

Rediscovering Childlike Qualities

As adults, we often suppress the childlike qualities we once possessed. However, reconnecting with these traits can enhance our ability to engage in meaningful family play. Some of these qualities include:

Optimism

Creativity

Curiosity

Imagination

Resilience

Eagerness to learn

Identifying and cultivating these qualities in ourselves can significantly improve our capacity for family play and overall life satisfaction.

The Benefits of Family Play

Engaging in play and maintaining a playful attitude can yield numerous benefits for families:

1. Increased self-esteem and self-confidence

2. Improved stress management

3. Enhanced cooperativeness between family members

4. Stronger sense of belonging and shared experiences

5. Improved trust and communication

6. Increased flexibility and spontaneity

7. Strengthened family bonds and feelings of togetherness

Overcoming Negative Messages About Play

Society often sends messages that can discourage play, especially for adults. These may include:

"Work before play"

"Be more responsible"

"Act your age"

"Do something productive"

It's crucial to recognize these messages and consciously choose to prioritize family play despite societal pressures.

Important Facts About Play and Leisure

Consider the following statistics:

Americans devote only 1.5 hours per week to sports and recreation on average

In Japan, 10% of all deaths of working men are attributed to overwork

Many individuals seek work to fill voids in their lives, neglecting leisure and family time

Low self-esteem, which affects one in three adults, can significantly impact motivation to play

These facts underscore the importance of intentionally incorporating play into family life.

Practical Tips for Enhancing Family Play

Here are some strategies to increase family playfulness:

1. Set aside unscheduled time for spontaneous family activities

2. Create a list of activities for children to do when bored

3. Find a balance between structured and unstructured time

4. Encourage creativity by allowing children to ask questions and try new things

5. Let children help decide family leisure activities

6. Schedule regular family nights

7. Participate in both cooperative and competitive activities as a family

8. Focus on the process of activities rather than the end result

9. Expose children to a wide range of activities

10. Examine your own leisure values and lifestyle

  

The Wisdom of Simplicity

Robert Fulghum's, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten reminds us of the fundamental principles that can guide family play:

Clean up your own mess

Take time to wander and observe the world around you

Balance different types of activities in your day

Share everything.

Play fair.

Don’t hit people.

Put things back where you found them.

Don’t take things that aren’t yours.

Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody.

Wash your hands before you eat.

Flush.

Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.

These simple yet profound ideas can serve as a foundation for meaningful family play.

Conclusion

Incorporating play into family life is not frivolous; it's a vital component of building strong, resilient family bonds. By understanding the importance of leisure, recognizing its benefits, and implementing practical strategies, families can create a lifestyle that values play and togetherness.

Remember, as the title suggests, "The family that plays together stays together." Make a commitment today to increase playfulness in your family life, and watch as it strengthens your connections and enhances your collective well-being.

Thank you, again, Lynn. By the way friends, if you ever call Lynn and need to leave her a voice mail message, you will get her recording that ends with, “And have a fun day.” We all need this reminder. Play together as a family and have a fun day!

Leadership Reflections on Max De Pree

Max DePree (1924-2017) was the son of D. J. De Pree (1891-1990), founder of Herman Miller Corporation of Holland, Michigan. Max became CEO in 1980 and served in that capacity untill 1987. He was a member of the company's Board of Directors until 1995. He graduated from Hope College and was a member of its board of trustees. He also served on the board of Fuller Theological Seminary and was involved with the Max De Pree Center for Leadership at Fuller. He is the author of numerous books and articles on leadership. All of these bring a perspective emphasizing the values of creativity, humility, relationships, and respect.

I met Max De Pree once and have enjoyed three of his leadership-related books. These are Leadership is an Art (1989), Leadership Jazz (1992), and Leading Without Power (1997). The quotes in this presentation are from those books.

I am a friend of Pastor Toby Gruppen, whose mother, Sally, was Executive Assistant to D. J. De Pree, Max De Pree, and other presidents of the Herman Miller Corporation (now MillerKnoll). The pictures at the end of this blog are from Sally’s home. She and Toby graciously hosted our family and shared stories about the company. Sally currently serves as Legacy Ambassador for MillerKnoll. Following are quotes from the three books mentioned above and pictures taken from our time with Sally and Toby.

Quotes from Leadership Jazz
"We cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are" (p. 74).

“A (jazz band) leader will pick the tune, set the tempo, and start the music, define the ‘style.’ After that it is up to the band to be disciplined and free, wild and restrained – leaders and followers, focused and wide-ranging, playing the music for the audience and accountable to the requirements of the band. Jazz-band leaders know how to integrate the ‘voices’ in the band without diminishing their uniqueness” (p. 103).

“… leaders need to learn not to inflict pain, but to bear it. It seems to me that if you are bearing pain properly… you ought to have the marks of the struggle. One ought to have bruised shins and skinned knees (p. 139).

“It takes more grace than tongue can tell to play the second fiddle well” (p. 198).

Quotes from Leadership Is an Art
“The leader is the ‘servant’ of his followers in that he
removes the obstacles that prevent them from doing their jobs… the true leader enables his or her followers to realize their full potential” (p. xx).

“Leadership is an art, something to be learned over time, not simply by reading books. Leadership is more tribal than scientific, more a weaving of relationships than an amassing of information…” (p. 3).

"The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is a servant" (p. 11).

"We need to give each other the space to grow, to be ourselves, to exercise our diversity. We need to give each other space so that we may both give and receive such beautiful things as ideas, openness, dignity, joy, healing, and inclusion" (p. 15).

"The signs of outstanding leadership appear primarily among the followers. Are the followers reaching their potential? Are they learning? Serving? Do they achieve the required results? Do they change with grace? Manage conflict?" (p. 12).

"Trust grows when people see leaders translate their personal integrity into organizational fidelity. At the heart of fidelity lies truth-telling and promise-keeping" (p. 59).

Quotes from Leading Without Power
"The goal of leadership is to make life better for others, not to impress them with your talents" (p. 22).

"When we think about the qualities of a leader, we need to consider how well they facilitate the performance of others, not just their own performance" (p. 28).

“One of the crucial tasks of leaders… is to help move groups of people, whether a family or a church or a school, in the direction of maturity as a community” (p. 76).

“The right to know is basic. Moreover, it is better to err on the side of sharing too much information than risk leaving someone in the dark. Information is power, but it is pointless power if hoarded (p. 103).

“While technical skill and lifetime learning are essential, I’m convinced that competence in relationships remains most important in making organizations places of realized potential” (pp. 166-167).

Summary
This has been a personal reflection on the life and writings of Max De Pree. He authored numerous leadership books. The quotes from three of his books emphasize creativity, humility, relationships, and respect. Pictures represent memories of gracious hospitality that was extended and powerful stories that were told by Sally Gruppen and her son Pastor Toby Gruppen. There is refreshing relevance to the work and writings of Max De Pree. I hope that you will enjoy reading some of his materials that follow.

Resources
Selected books by Max De Pree

Leadership Jazz. https://amzn.to/3W72rEf

Leadership is an Art. https://amzn.to/3zBIpJ3

Leading Without Power: Finding Hope in Serving Community. https://amzn.to/3W5rKqa

Called to Serve: Creating and Nurturing the Effective Volunteer Board. https://amzn.to/4cICccL

Fuller De Pree Center. https://depree.org/de-pree-journal/leadership-is-an-art/

Available as a YouTube video at https://youtu.be/0Hg6-LUwq9E

Supplementary online resources that may have been consulted include ChatGPT, Claude, Copilot, Google Gemini, and Google Search, and Wikipedia

Church and School Education (CASE) Resources is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, affiliate advertising designed to provide a means for sites to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com.

I Am 80 Years Old!

I turned 80 on April 18, 2024. Turning 80 is the reason for the word CELEBRATE being my word-of-the-year. I am 80 years old!

It is amazing to have reached this milestone. When it happened, I was recognized with congratulatory cards from friends, family, eye doctor, financial advisor, church seniors group, and even in the church bulletin. In our pickleball group, several friends said, “I would have guessed that you are only around 70.” But, I am 80 years old!

Many never reach the age of 80. One source, MacroTrends, estimates life expectancy to be around 79 in 2024. Even the Bible acknowledges the uniqueness of reaching this age. One passage says, “The days of our years are threescore years and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labor and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away” (Psalm 90:10). I am still here, and I am 80 years old!

It seems especially astonishing for me to reach 80, because I am a stage 4 colon cancer survivor, almost leaving this life because of its spread to other areas and a traumatic reaction to chemotherapy. So, here I am, 80 years old, living fully even though missing a few parts, including a section of the colon, the appendix, a part of the liver, the gallbladder, and a kidney. While not physically complete, I am 80 years old!

Perhaps as a result of past health challenges, I have chosen to extend this time of joyful celebration. Of course, this would not be possible without the lavish love and spectacular support of Marlene (best friend, wife, and chief encouragement organizer [CEO]). A pre-celebration began on Monday, April 15 with Marlene baking “Burt-day Braun-ies” for me to take to my weekly pickleball group, which then kicked into full gear on my birthday on Thursday, April 18, and is extending through Sunday, May 5. Why not? I am 80 years old!

Marlene surprised me by inviting my sister, Helen (PA), and brother, Roy (NJ), to join us. Helen was not able to make the trip, but Roy flew in on my birthday. Roy and I spent more time together, did more things, and told more stories than we had in the last 60 years. The big day began with my picking up Roy from the Grand Rapids airport. We drove around Grand Rapids, pointing out places where Marlene and I had lived, worked, and worshiped. We even stopped at Marge’s Donut Den. Roy and I spent much of the next day walking and talking our way through the Gilmore Car Museum. We even made a stop at Sweetwater Donuts. Yes, it is permissible to have donuts two days in a row. After all, I am 80 years old!

Instead of one birthday meal, we had three. On Thursday night, joined by Stephen, Lisa, Petra, Danny, James, and Julia, we feasted on smoked brisket curated by Stephen and a four-tier birthday cake created by Marlene. In recognition of our son, Peter, we blew out the candles together (picture above). On Friday, Marlene, Roy, and I were joined by Marlene’s brother Del and his wife Judy for the second birthday dinner at Red Rock Grill in Macatawa Legends. Then, on Saturday, Marlene and I had an intimate pizza party (with another cake) at Stephen and Lisa’s house. Three days of celebration with even more on the horizon. We could do all this because I am 80 years old!

Still to come (as I write this and as the celebration continues) is a family overnight trip to Shipshewana, IN, Amish country. Marlene and I, together with Stephen, Lisa, Petra, Danny, James, and his girlfriend Julia, will have an Amish-style family dinner, attend a Johnny Cash tribute concert, and stay overnight at the Blue Gate Inn. Shipshewana, two hours from Holland, is a favorite getaway place for Marlene and me. It seems fitting to bring closure to this season of celebration by sharing “Shipshe.” And, I hope that the artist singing the Johnny Cash songs will include “Precious Memories.” I have so many, since, I am 80 years old!

But wait. Maybe my birthday celebration is not yet over. One of my goals has been to climb Angels Landing at Zion National Park. Our granddaughter, Petra, has just secured a permit for July. Wow! What a great way to celebrate being 80. And, Marlene and I are about halfway through a Route 66 road trip that we started a couple of years ago. And, I have also been reading about The Great River Road, a trip that follows the Mississippi River from Lake Itasca (MN) to New Orleans (LA). We should keep on celebrating now that I am 80 years old!

In closing this celebration summary, may it be said of me, “[He] will still bear fruit in old age, [he] will stay fresh and green, proclaiming, ‘the Lord is upright; he is my rock…’” (Psalm 92:14-15). With God’s help, Marlene’s loving support, and the encouragement from family and friends; it is the desire of my heart to continue bearing fruit and staying green, even though, I am 80 years old!

Reflections on Our Family British Isles Cruise, June 24 - July 10, 2023

Burt and Marlene Braunius, Stephen, Lisa, and James Braunius; Danny and Petra Gonzalez

Following is a day-by-day summary based on the notes and Facebook postings of Lisa Braunius along with my own comments and edits.

Day 1: Saturday, June 24

After an 8-hour flight from Detroit, we landed at Heathrow Airport, where we took the London Underground to Victoria Station. From there we walked to our motel, Comfort Inn Victoria. By around 3:00 PM (London time), we were on a double-decker, hop-on-hop-off bus to see the city’s highlights (Big Ben, London Bridge, Parliament Buildings, Westminster Abbey, etc.), and finally, a boat ride down the Thames River.

Day 2: Sunday, June 25

Our previous day's bus tour did not go past Buckingham Palace. So, at 6:00 AM, on a beautiful, quiet sunny Sunday morning, we hiked to the Palace from our hotel and got some great cloudless and crowd-less pictures. After breakfast, a coach took us from London to Windsor Castle, where we saw St. George Chapel and marching royal guards. From there we were transported to the Southampton Cruise Terminal to board the Regal Princess, our home away from home for the next 12 days, for a 5:00 PM departure.

Day 3: Monday, June 26

We arrived in the Channel Island, St. Peter’s Port ,in Guernsey, England and took a tender into the town. We hiked to the Underground Military WW 2 Museum (all uphill, especially when your map app brings you to the topside of the museum, but we all got our steps in).

There was a lady we read about, Mrs. Warren Caine, who spoke “Heil Churchill” and was then sentenced to 4 months imprisonment by the Nazis. She became known on the island as Mrs. Churchill. We had a formal night for our dinner and enjoyed a musical show.

Day 4: Tuesday, June 27

Our next stop was Port of Cork, Ireland, where we visited the Blarney Castle and Kinsale were the places we visited. Marlene and Lisa walked the beautifully-manicured grounds of Blarney Castle, while the rest of the group climbed the Castle tower and kissed the Blarney Stone. We then traveled to the quaint town of Kinsale and had the most incredible fish and chips at Kitty O’Shea’s. This is such a beautiful country with green rolling hills dotted with happy cows and sheep in the fields.

Day 5: Wednesday, June 28

Dublin, Ireland was the next port of call. Burt and Marlene stayed on the ship to rejuvenate from the intensity of the previous days. Stephen, Lisa, Petra, Danny, and James took a train into the city and had a bit of rain, but it did not prevent them from thoroughly enjoying the city. They visited Trinity College, Christ Church Cathedral, and St. Patrick’s Cathedral. Jonathan Swift (1667-1745), the author of Gulliver’s Travels, preached at St. Patrick’s and was known for his 4-hour sermons. He had his pulpit put on wheels and would have himself wheeled up to people who were sleeping.

Day 6: Thursday, June 29

Back in England, we were at the port of Liverpool, the birthplace of the Beatles. We had been immersed in their music over the previous few days with evening productions on the ship. In Liverpool, we all went to stroll through “The Beatles Story,” an interactive experience about their beginnings and the evolution of their music and their lives.

Then we hopped on a double-decker bus and explored the city of Liverpool, saw James Street, along with several churches and beautiful architecture. The evening show aboard ship was a hilarious British comedian. People often arrived late to the shows, so this comedian called out to one of the latecomers, saying, “Can I get you anything…..like…..a watch!?!” Another good day!

Day 7: Friday, June 30

Belfast, Northern Ireland and the Giant’s Causeway were on our agenda for today. We left the ship and took a bus through the most beautiful landscape of rolling hills, green meadows, and rock walls. Sheep and cows were grazing in lush fields. The Causeway is a UNESCO site, comprised of 40,000 interlocking basalt columns. Burt and Marlene took a shuttle, while the others hiked down to the shore and walked around on the columns. We then stopped for lunch in a little town, where we had our takeaway fish and chips. We ended the day with dinner together, at which time the ship's multicultural staff sang a rousing rendition of happy birthday to Steve (3 times…a little slower each time, yes, he was blushing). What a gift to have this dinner time each day where we share pictures, stories, and memories!

Day 8: Saturday, July 1

Scotland is another beautiful country. Our trip brought us to Glasgow. We started with the Glasgow Cathedral, the burial place of St. Mungo and also a memorial to John Knox. This former Roman Catholic cathedral was converted to and remains today a Presbyterian church. The second stop of the day was the Kelvingrove Art Gallery and Museum. One of its famous paintings is "Christ of Saint John of the Cross" by Salvador Dali.

July 1 is the day for the annual Orange Walk. The Orange Walk is a public parade organized by the Orange Order, an exclusively Protestant fraternal organization, celebrating the victory of the Dutch Protestant Prince William of Orange over the English Catholic King James, on July 12, 1690 at the Battle of the Boyne. There were many parades throughout the city that we were able to see and experience; obviously, this was a politically controversial event. 

The day ended with a double rainbow.

Day 9: Sunday, July 2

Today was a day at sea. We worshipped with our Fellowship Church family online, rested, relaxed, and had a special dinner on the ship at its Italian specialty restaurant, Sabatini’s.

Day 10: Monday, July 3

Our port was Invergordon, Scotland. Our bus tour traveled to Loch Ness, where we boarded a boat in search of Nessie. The views were breathtaking, from the rocky shoreline to the deep, dark water. This Loch is 22 miles long, one mile wide, and 750 feet deep in the middle. The weather was cold, windy, and rainy. We braved riding in the upper level of the boat for a short time, but then we gladly moved to the warmer inside seats. But, alas, no Nessie sightings!

We also explored St. Andrews Cathedral, still a very active church, including children’s activities and programs for seniors. Knitted mice were displayed throughout the church, part of a scavenger hunt for kids, which made us smile as we walked through the church's interior.

Day 11: Tuesday, July 4

A tender took us from our ship to the port, where we then boarded a bus into Edinburgh, Scotland. As we made our way into the city, we saw Princess Anne go by in an escorted motorcade. We found out that King Charles and Queen Camilla were scheduled to be in town the next day. Preparations included blockade gates and businesses painting their signs in order to get the city ready for the royal visit.

This was another historic and magnificent city. Some of us spent time at the National Museum of Scotland (Molly, the first cloned sheep, is stuffed and on display), while the rest of us enjoyed walking the streets and exploring the city. We learned that the architecture of public buildings, schools, and castles provided Edinburgh native J.K. Rowling's inspiration for the buildings in the Harry Potter series. The city is also the resting place of the body of John Knox.

Day 12; Wednesday, July 5

This was our second and final “at sea” day. We were nearing the end of the cruise. We welcomed the time to sleep in, kick back, and begin packing.

Day 13: Thursday, July 6

Our final stop was the port of Le Havre, France. From here, we boarded a bus to tour the landing beaches, cemetery, and visitor center of the Normandy invasion area. It was an overwhelmingly somber, yet rich, experience to walk the ground where 10,000 servicemen died, to be among the thousands of white crosses, and to view the artifacts of a war in which so many lives were sacrificed for the freedom that we enjoy today. Our last stop was Omaha Beach with the Le Braves Sculpture embodying "Wings of Hope," "Rise. Freedom!," and "Wings of Fraternity."

Days 14-17: Friday - Monday, July 7 - 10 

The ship returned to Southampton, and we disembarked by 7:30 AM for transfer to Heathrow Airport. Our plane left on time for JFK Airport and a connecting flight to Detroit. At JFK, however, we discovered that our flight to Detroit had been canceled due to "potential storms." The only next available flight was Sunday, July 9. This meant a two-night layover in New York City. We were able to get a Comfort Inn in the vicinity of the airport. Stephen, James, Petra, and Danny used the delay to explore NYC. Lisa, Marlene, and Burt stayed at the hotel to rest. 

On Sunday, we got to the airport and onto the plane, but the plane was not permitted to leave because of "weather issues." We sat on the runway for two and a half hours before returning to the terminal with instructions to take our bags with us. Finally, after hours and hours of exploring options (including two rental cars) with little success, our plane was finally cleared to board at around 7:00 PM. We eventually took off at 9:30 PM, arriving in Detroit near midnight, then driving back to Holland and getting home at 4:30 AM on Monday.

 We say, "Thank you, Lord, for an incredible, epic, amazing, once-in-a-lifetime rich family- shared experience!" 

Each of us concluded that we would do it all over again in a heartbeat!