The Big Question

Most of us have asked “The Big Question” in one way or another. Francis Schaeffer probably said it the most clearly in his book and video series entitled, “How Then Shall We Live?”

On an almost daily basis I ask, “How should I be living?” A book that Marlene and I have been reading gives many exquisite answers. The book is The Gift of Years: Growing Old Gracefully by Joan Chittister. Here are ten guiding principles based on the book’s forty chapters.

NEWNESS. Life is full of changes and transitions. It is a personal choice to have an attitude that looks at life as “accepting the old” or “discovering the new.” We can find fresh and glorious experiences at any stage of life, and especially as older persons, if we seek to make new discoveries.

MEANING. In the past we have ascribed meaning and even our self-worth through accomplishments, jobs, income, and titles. Living meaningfully more rightly springs from cultivating life-qualities such as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

JOY. We can allow ourselves to be mired in the muck of anxiety, bitterness, crud, and doubt of our past. Or we can, rather, look for reasons to be grateful for each day, being intoxicated by the beauty of life and celebrating it serendipitous moments, however large or small they may be.

POSSIBILITY. Getting older and being retired opens opportunities for new adventures. Instead of withdrawing from social experiences, there is a freedom to launch into new encounters. Tiredness breeds more tiredness. Activity, even when forced and done reluctantly, awakens the spirit, provides fresh insights, gives birth to new ideas, and stimulates creative thoughts.

FORGIVENESS. Only forgiveness can free us to rise above many of the pains in our pasts, even if this forgiveness is not acknowledged, requested, or accepted by others. Forgiveness is more important to the wellbeing of the one who forgives than the one being forgiven. Because it is not possible to make amends for all of our past failings, we do well to claim the forgiveness offered by Jesus, reflect it in our relationships with others and self, and start each day afresh.

DREAMS. Essential to vibrant living, dreaming (daydreaming, aspirations, hopes) helps us move beyond resignation and into anticipation. Dreaming about what could be is the first step in achieving it. Our dreams can help us achieve what must yet be finished in our lives, and even in the world. The older we get, the stronger is the foundation for imagining and acting on possibilities for a better future.

RELATIONSHIPS. Some stay locked into and limited by relationships in their past. Others, as they get older, withdraw and disengage from social involvement. However, it is never too late to begin new relationships and cultivate new friendships. Older adults are rich in experiences and can be happily enriched by sharing these with one another. The efforts of caring for others as we do for ourselves provides mutual blessings.

WISDOM. Wisdom comes from time and experience. It is a development of life-understanding that is earned by the old who, with it in their possession, have responsibility for sharing it with those who are younger. While many in society busy themselves with jobs and accomplishments, it is the privilege of those who have graduated from the “normal” workforce to be thinkers, insight-givers, and encouragers of others in what they have found to be good, and true, and right.

OUTREACH. Many of the elderly live in isolation from society. They stay in their homes or are in retirement communities or in assisted living facilities. The choice of the elderly is that of staying in (their homes or rooms) or stepping out. Will we withdraw, or will we reach outside of ourselves to manage the life that we have in ways that benefit and bless others? And, wonder of wonders, those who give to others find themselves being blessed!

FUTURE. Older people generally have a state of mind that fits into one of two categories. One is, “I’m getting older. I just can’t do that anymore.” The other says, “I am free from many of the responsibilities and obligations of the past. This my big chance to live outrageously free, outrageously involved, outrageously fun-loving, outrageously adventurous, and outrageously alive!” Treasuring the time that remains to be lived and managing whatever limitations we are experiencing, now is the time to, in faith, imagine the impossible, attempt the unthinkable, and plan the incredible.

In answer to the big question, “How shall I live?”, my answer is, “Live fully in the present, treasuring each new day, finding meaning, sharing joy, envisioning possibilities, celebrating forgiveness, continuing to have dreams, building relationships, sharing wisdom, blessing others, and attempting the outrageous.” What is your response?

There is a gospel song that also answers the big question. Its title is, “I Then Shall Live.” It answers with spiritual and biblical concepts that are worth incorporating into all of the above ten areas. Following are the first two verses:

I then shall live as one who's been forgiven.
I'll walk with joy to know my debts are paid.
I know my name is clear before my Father;
I am His child and I am not afraid.
So, greatly pardoned, I'll forgive my brother;
The law of love I gladly will obey.

I then shall live as one who's learned compassion.
I've been so loved that I'll risk loving too.
I know how fear builds walls instead of bridges;
I'll dare to see another's point of view.

Songwriters: David Phelps / Gloria L Gaither. I Then Shall Live (A Cappella) lyrics © Capitol CMG Publishing, Warner Chappell Music, Inc. Gaither Vocal Band