The Big Question

Most of us have asked “The Big Question” in one way or another. Francis Schaeffer probably said it the most clearly in his book and video series entitled, “How Then Shall We Live?”

On an almost daily basis I ask, “How should I be living?” A book that Marlene and I have been reading gives many exquisite answers. The book is The Gift of Years: Growing Old Gracefully by Joan Chittister. Here are ten guiding principles based on the book’s forty chapters.

NEWNESS. Life is full of changes and transitions. It is a personal choice to have an attitude that looks at life as “accepting the old” or “discovering the new.” We can find fresh and glorious experiences at any stage of life, and especially as older persons, if we seek to make new discoveries.

MEANING. In the past we have ascribed meaning and even our self-worth through accomplishments, jobs, income, and titles. Living meaningfully more rightly springs from cultivating life-qualities such as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

JOY. We can allow ourselves to be mired in the muck of anxiety, bitterness, crud, and doubt of our past. Or we can, rather, look for reasons to be grateful for each day, being intoxicated by the beauty of life and celebrating it serendipitous moments, however large or small they may be.

POSSIBILITY. Getting older and being retired opens opportunities for new adventures. Instead of withdrawing from social experiences, there is a freedom to launch into new encounters. Tiredness breeds more tiredness. Activity, even when forced and done reluctantly, awakens the spirit, provides fresh insights, gives birth to new ideas, and stimulates creative thoughts.

FORGIVENESS. Only forgiveness can free us to rise above many of the pains in our pasts, even if this forgiveness is not acknowledged, requested, or accepted by others. Forgiveness is more important to the wellbeing of the one who forgives than the one being forgiven. Because it is not possible to make amends for all of our past failings, we do well to claim the forgiveness offered by Jesus, reflect it in our relationships with others and self, and start each day afresh.

DREAMS. Essential to vibrant living, dreaming (daydreaming, aspirations, hopes) helps us move beyond resignation and into anticipation. Dreaming about what could be is the first step in achieving it. Our dreams can help us achieve what must yet be finished in our lives, and even in the world. The older we get, the stronger is the foundation for imagining and acting on possibilities for a better future.

RELATIONSHIPS. Some stay locked into and limited by relationships in their past. Others, as they get older, withdraw and disengage from social involvement. However, it is never too late to begin new relationships and cultivate new friendships. Older adults are rich in experiences and can be happily enriched by sharing these with one another. The efforts of caring for others as we do for ourselves provides mutual blessings.

WISDOM. Wisdom comes from time and experience. It is a development of life-understanding that is earned by the old who, with it in their possession, have responsibility for sharing it with those who are younger. While many in society busy themselves with jobs and accomplishments, it is the privilege of those who have graduated from the “normal” workforce to be thinkers, insight-givers, and encouragers of others in what they have found to be good, and true, and right.

OUTREACH. Many of the elderly live in isolation from society. They stay in their homes or are in retirement communities or in assisted living facilities. The choice of the elderly is that of staying in (their homes or rooms) or stepping out. Will we withdraw, or will we reach outside of ourselves to manage the life that we have in ways that benefit and bless others? And, wonder of wonders, those who give to others find themselves being blessed!

FUTURE. Older people generally have a state of mind that fits into one of two categories. One is, “I’m getting older. I just can’t do that anymore.” The other says, “I am free from many of the responsibilities and obligations of the past. This my big chance to live outrageously free, outrageously involved, outrageously fun-loving, outrageously adventurous, and outrageously alive!” Treasuring the time that remains to be lived and managing whatever limitations we are experiencing, now is the time to, in faith, imagine the impossible, attempt the unthinkable, and plan the incredible.

In answer to the big question, “How shall I live?”, my answer is, “Live fully in the present, treasuring each new day, finding meaning, sharing joy, envisioning possibilities, celebrating forgiveness, continuing to have dreams, building relationships, sharing wisdom, blessing others, and attempting the outrageous.” What is your response?

There is a gospel song that also answers the big question. Its title is, “I Then Shall Live.” It answers with spiritual and biblical concepts that are worth incorporating into all of the above ten areas. Following are the first two verses:

I then shall live as one who's been forgiven.
I'll walk with joy to know my debts are paid.
I know my name is clear before my Father;
I am His child and I am not afraid.
So, greatly pardoned, I'll forgive my brother;
The law of love I gladly will obey.

I then shall live as one who's learned compassion.
I've been so loved that I'll risk loving too.
I know how fear builds walls instead of bridges;
I'll dare to see another's point of view.

Songwriters: David Phelps / Gloria L Gaither. I Then Shall Live (A Cappella) lyrics © Capitol CMG Publishing, Warner Chappell Music, Inc. Gaither Vocal Band

I Favor Life

The sanctity of human life has been emphasized during this past week. Many churches celebrated, “Sanctity of Human Life Sunday” on January 16; others today, January 23. Thousands participated in a “March for Life Rally” in Washington D.C. this past week on the 21st. And, close to our hearts, we remember the passing of our son, Peter (January 28, 1996), during this week. He was with us for almost 23 years, living through cystic fibrosis and a double lung transplant. The following text is from a devotional that I gave on January 19, 1997 on Pro-life Sunday at Hillcrest Christian Reformed Church, Hudsonville, Michigan.

Terminal illness was injected into our lives in 1973. Marlene and I were twenty-nine. Stephen was three. Peter was nine weeks old. Being forced to deal with the incurable disease of cystic fibrosis caused me to ask new kinds of questions, "What's a life for? What is the purpose of a life that will have to struggle with a chronic illness?"

I remember thinking, "If we are not raising a child to be able to live a useful and productive adult life, what are we raising him for? What is the use of raising a child if he will not live to adulthood?"

The question haunted me. "What's a life for if it is not for leading a productive adult life? What do you plan for? What are your goals?"

Peter once told me that he didn't think he would make it through high school. (By the way, as a teenager, I didn't think I would make it through high school either, but that was for a different reason.) Peter wondered whether he would live that long. But he did graduate from Unity Christian High with three scholarships, scores of friends, and admiration by the staff.

What about college? What is college for? Why go to college if it seems unlikely that you will complete it and get a decent job? Peter graduated from Calvin College with a B.S. Degree in Computer Science, earned the degree while going through increased illness, while experiencing extended hospitalizations, and while toting along oxygen tanks during his final three semesters. But he never held a job as a result of his college education and never had clearly-identified career goals. What was his college education for?

When his lungs became too diseased to continue to function, Peter underwent a double lung transplant. New lungs--lungs from someone who died as a result of a self-inflicted handgun accident. What were those new lungs for?

Peter's life was prolonged because of the gift of someone else's lungs. His life was extended by five months--months where he rode a bike once, jogged alongside me once, helped with computers at Marlene's, Stephen's, and my schools for one week. But he never had a regular job. We never got any financial pay-back from those Christian school and private college education expenses.

The question remains, "What were all these things for? Why raise a child who is only going to die? Why give all this support? Why spend all this money? Why not terminate a life like this before birth? What was this life for?"

When dealing with the "what is life for" question as a twenty-nine year old parent, I discovered that I was asking the wrong question. The question cannot be, "What's a life for?" The question must, rather, be, "Who is a life for?"

Answering the question, "Who is life for?", gives meaning, direction, and strength to our lives. To the question, "Who is life for?", we simply answer, "Jesus Christ."

So the issue is not "what" but "Who," and once that is resolved, once that central issue is settled, God's grace is sufficient for each day.

When we conclude that life is not first of all for ourselves or for others, but first of all for Christ and for the glory of God, then we can see each life and each moment of life as a treasured gift--whether sick or well, broken or whole, diseased or healthy, short or long. Once we come to grips with the "for Who," (or to satisfy the grammarians among us, once we come to grips with the "for Whom") we can deal with any life or death situation.

When we honor Christ, we honor life. We are then able to live by standards that are different from the world, kingdom standards. These are the standards of a God who thinks differently than we do about days and dollars and duties. Once we commit to kingdom standards:

• we live each day for Christ, one day at a time;

• we hope, not in ourselves, but in God's grace;

• we view each life as precious and valuable in God's sight;

• we determine to find richness and joy in each life, regardless of age or condition;

• we recognize that basic spiritual values take priority over financial and vocational success;

• we find our personalities transformed as a result of our responsibilities, commitments, and sacrifices;

• we pray for and receive strength, courage, endurance, and persistence;

• we become a source of strength and help to others as a result of what we have learned;

• we have a better understanding of salvation because of a new appreciation for what it meant for God to give His Son.

The challenge for us now is to live for Jesus Christ. It's a really basic issue. Not what to live for, but Who to live for. We live for the One Who cared about the sick, hungry, lame, blind, discouraged. We respect the lives of the unborn, the chronically ill, and the elderly. We remember that Jesus said, "Inasmuch as you serve the least of these, you serve me."

And, oh yes, for me, belonging to Jesus means being pro-life. Peter would want me to tell you that he filled out the organ donor form on his driver's license, and you should, too.

Celebrating Martin Luther King Jr. Day

I keep these two statues, Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King, in our study. They are on a shelf behind me and sort of looking over my right shoulder. 

Parks and King are a constant reminder to, "act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with my God" (Micah 6:8). On this holiday, I have a tradition of watching King's, "I have a dream," speech. You are welcome to join me by clicking on the following link.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smEqnnklfYs