Connecting Rods and Self-maintenance

“He who is without oil, shall throw the first rod” is a saying found on t-shirts and car repair shop signs. Car people understand. It says, check your oil lest your crankcase become dry and a piston rod seize up and you blow the engine.

In continuing to attend a five-week church education class on mental health, I have become increasingly aware of the importance of self-care. Not paying attention to our own mental health is like not maintaining a car’s oil level. Something is likely to be blown or thrown.

Marlene and I, almost daily, have breakfast and devotions overlooking Lake Michigan at Holland State Park and in the afternoon have coffee at Windmill Island Gardens. We are not sure if this is the best use of our time and resources and wonder about the long-term effect of too many donuts and muffins. To help us feel better about this indulgence, we occasionally say, “It’s cheaper than a therapist.”

Coffee and donuts is one of our mechanisms for maintaining mental health and coping with life-challenges. It keeps us from “running out of oil.” There are other things that can also be done to enrich personal health. We work on these as well, sometimes more successfully than others. Here is a list. Please note. I am not a mental health professional and can only say that these make sense to me, from my own unique and, admittedly, sometimes quirky perspective. Some of these ideas come from the website, www.therapistaid.com.

Exercise. Only do the kind of exercise that you enjoy. The key word is “enjoy.” You will not stay with activities that are not fun for you. Exercise for me is walking while listening to mystery-action audiobooks, using an elliptical machine, triking (biking), and most recently, pickleball. Other exercise options could include exercise videos, running, spiritual exercise (e.g., 1 Timothy 4:8), swimming, weightlifting, or yoga. Pick what is right for you.

Be sociable. For us, this means getting together with our kids and grandkids, with a church small group, and attending adult church education classes. We often have a Friday night meal with our kids and grandkids. Being with family and friends is somehow invigorating. Other examples of healthful group experience can involve things like organizing a group dinner, calling or texting a friend, playing a board or card game, attending a concert or football game, and joining a class or club or group. Isolation is often associated with depression. So it can also be worth participating in a social experience even when we may not feel like it.

Have projects. Some projects are more fun than others. We try for those that intrigue, satisfy, bring joy, and are fulfilling. For example, Marlene enjoys gardening, but gardening makes me depressed. Instead, I like planning trips, writing research proposals (strange, hey?), and fixing things. I just finished restoring a garden lighthouse and am now looking for the next broken or deteriorated thing to redeem. It might be a windmill. Other projects could include home maintenance, car restoration, sewing, or quilting.

Develop special interests. I have three “go-to” areas of special interest: computers, cruises, and cooking. When we go to Sam’s Club, the computer department is always my first stop. We average one cruise a year. I subscribe to cruise podcasts and several news feeds. Marlene and I discuss meal preparation daily because we both like to cook. I specialize in chili, ribs, and flaming desserts, and my culinary equipment includes pressure cookers, cast aluminum and iron cookware, sou vie, and induction cooking. Marlene creates incredible crème brules, sausage biscuits, birthday cakes, and so much more. Examples of other interests are art,  Bible memory, church activities, coaching or mentoring, collecting antiques, hiking, meditation, music, pets, or professional development.

Serve others. We like to invest in friends and family. The words of Jesus as quoted by Paul are, “It is more blessed to give than receive” (Acts 20:25). Serving was a characteristic of the early church and should be for us as well. We look for ways to support family members, serve as volunteers in a citizenship class, and coordinate a Fellowship Group (small group). Marlene fixes meals for friends and neighbors who are ill. I trike with a friend who uses a handcycle. Churches and community organizations abound with service opportunities. The key is to participate in ways that affirm one’s gifts, abilities, interests, and strengths, rather than draining our energy, bringing unhealthy stress, and causing us to feel that we are being used or even abused.

I began this post with a saying about car maintenance. “He who is without oil, shall throw the first rod.” This is actually an adaptation of John 8:7, “Let he or she who is without sin throw the first stone.” One of the truths underlying these quotes about “throwing a rod” and “throwing a stone” is that we ought to spend more time focusing on maintaining our mental and spiritual health than neglecting self and criticizing others. This self-maintenance for me includes exercise, being social, having projects and special interests, and serving others. How about you?

Nutty as a Fruitcake

 A pastor once said to me, “I’m not taking any of those personality tests. I’m afraid that they would find that I’m as nutty as a fruitcake.” And, when I was coordinating a church-based seminary extension program in Boca Raton, Florida; the Director of the Counseling Center and I had a weekly lunch meeting. He always liked it when I would come to the waiting room of the Counseling Center to meet him. He wanted clients to see a church staff member in his facility.

Even though these experiences took place some years ago, they illustrate what is still a prevailing reluctance by many to talk about mental health.

Marlene and I attended a class on mental health this past Sunday at Fellowship Reformed Church. The attendance was smaller than it should have been, and I was the only male in the room. It is unfortunate that so many missed this helpful session. Maybe the fear of being thought of “as nutty as a fruitcake” remains. Now, for those who are brave enough to read on, following is a summary of some of the main concepts that I appreciated from the class.

Exercise: People who exercise regularly tend to be more resistant to many mental illness-related challenges including depression, anxiety, substance abuse, bulimia, Alzheimer’s, sleep difficulties, stress, low energy, and self-esteem. A beginning exercise plan of walking as little as 30 minutes 3 times a week can make a difference.

Sleep: Set a regular schedule; avoid caffeine, alcohol, and nicotine; avoid too much napping; exercise regularly; and avoid big meals for two hours before bedtime.

Boundaries: Establish personal boundaries. Types of boundaries that each of us should set and protect include the following:

--physical: personal space and touch

--intellectual: thoughts and ideas

--emotional: feelings and emotions

--sexual: touch, comments, mutual respect

--material: money and possessions

--time: amount of time spent in work, relationships, hobbies, etc.

Several Bible passages were also shared including these:

Psalm 34:8, “Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.”

Psalm 139:14, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”

Luke 10:25-37, Parable of the Good Samaritan.

Reflecting on the above class notes, I think that we tend to be more careful about our physical health than our mental health. However, the two are connected and may vary from person to person. Let us find ways to, as Lester Holt says when closing the NBC nightly news, “Take care of yourself and each other.” Please contact me if you would like handout sheets on any of the above topics.

Lessons from Triking

I am a “triker.” But not just any kind of “triker;” I am a “recumbent triker.” To be even more specific, I ride a TerraTrike Rambler. It is tangerine-colored, tadpole style, 16 speed, 43 pounds, 24” front and 26” rear wheeled, pedal-propelled vehicle. Marlene rides a TerraTrike Rover, blue, 24” wheels, with Bafang pedal e-assist. We haul the trikes around in our Honda Odyssey minivan.

The pictures are of recent trike experiences. One is of Marlene and me with our son Stephen and his wife Lisa, and the other is with a friend, Vern Sterk.

I have been triking for about two years, long enough to have learned a few things along the way. Many of the lessons learned may be similar to those of conventional bikers, but some are unique to triking. [Check Google.] There are a lot of sites with “lessons from biking,” but not many are on triking. So here are a few of my observations.

HEADS UP. Keep alert and be on guard. Triking forces me to concentrate on what is going on around me. Since trikes are low to the ground, even with headlights, taillights, and a flag, they can be invisible, especially to distracted drivers. Life lesson. We all should travel assertively on our journeys through life, watching out for fellow travelers who are dangerous, while smiling and waving at the others.

 SET MY OWN PACE, SCHEDULE, AND ROUTE. Triking does not have to be primarily about speed, distance, or destination; but, rather, the simple joy of being able to ride. There are days with blustery winds and cold weather when it is difficult to ride; therefore, when I can, I ride in my own way. Life lesson. Normalcy, in life and on a trike, has its up-hills and down-hills, headwinds and tailwinds, rain and sunshine. All are part of the journey and all have their own challenges and should also have their own celebrations.

 HAVE A SUPPORT PERSON OR NETWORK. So many things can challenge the triker, including accidents, mechanical breakdowns, threatening dogs, and flat tires. I always carry a cell phone and ask Marlene to keep her phone nearby so that I can contact her if help is needed. Life lesson. Never go it alone. Love and be loved. Cultivate supportive relationships.

 STAY CLOSE TO OTHERS. When triking with others, stay close, but not so close that your wheels get tangled; just close enough to talk or at least call out to one another. Part of savoring the ride is to enjoy one another during the ride. Sharing in the ride multiplies its pleasure and provides a common connection for future experiences. Life lesson. By being with another person or with others, we are able to give and receive constructive feedback in order to improve our future journeys together. Pedaling is not the only reciprocal part of riding. Reciprocal interaction with one another helps to determine the best pacing, distances, break times, sightings, and other shared experiences.

 DIFFERENT SPOKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS. Put yourself in the other person’s pedals. One of the beauties of triking is that there are so many styles of trikes, from those that are low, light weight, and built for speed, to those that are the heavier, more upright comfort-cruisers, to those that provide support for persons with physical limitations. Two or three times a week, I ride with my friend Vern Sterk. He had a bike accident about four years ago that caused a spinal cord injury and paralysis. He now pedals a hand cycle. Life lesson. While he and I are not going to beat any speed or distance records, the rewards of triking together include the privilege of supporting a friend, having stimulating conversations, and enjoying life as a shared journey.

So, here they are, lessons from triking:

--Keep alert and on guard

--Set your own pace

--Cultivate a support network

--Stay close to those you care about and who care about you

--Put yourself in another person’s pedals (life).

These lessons remind me of two Bible passages: “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:31) and ^“Carry each other’s burdens…” and “each one should carry their own load” (Galatians 6:2,5).

The above text is my beginning summary of “lessons.” Are there lessons that you would add from your experiences in biking or triking?