The Family that Plays Together Stays Together

Our family thrives on having good times together. So when our friend, Lynn Bunnell, a Therapeutic Recreation Specialist, showed me a worksheet packet from one of her seminars, I asked her for permission to make it into a blog. Here is my adaptation of her good work.

The Importance of Family Play Time

In today's fast-paced world, it's easy to overlook the importance of family leisure time. However, research and expert opinions suggest that engaging in play and recreational activities as a family unit can have profound benefits for both individual family members and the family as a whole. This blog post explores the concept of family play, its benefits, and practical ways to incorporate it into your life.

Understanding Leisure and Family Play

Leisure is more than just free time. According to Therapeutic Recreation Specialist Lynn Bunnell, it's an experience that can bring joy, acceleration, and pleasure. It's important to note that:

Leisure is a personal experience that must come from within,

The attitude towards an activity often determines whether it's truly leisure, and

It's a state of mind, reflecting a positive attitude toward life and living.

Rediscovering Childlike Qualities

As adults, we often suppress the childlike qualities we once possessed. However, reconnecting with these traits can enhance our ability to engage in meaningful family play. Some of these qualities include:

Optimism

Creativity

Curiosity

Imagination

Resilience

Eagerness to learn

Identifying and cultivating these qualities in ourselves can significantly improve our capacity for family play and overall life satisfaction.

The Benefits of Family Play

Engaging in play and maintaining a playful attitude can yield numerous benefits for families:

1. Increased self-esteem and self-confidence

2. Improved stress management

3. Enhanced cooperativeness between family members

4. Stronger sense of belonging and shared experiences

5. Improved trust and communication

6. Increased flexibility and spontaneity

7. Strengthened family bonds and feelings of togetherness

Overcoming Negative Messages About Play

Society often sends messages that can discourage play, especially for adults. These may include:

"Work before play"

"Be more responsible"

"Act your age"

"Do something productive"

It's crucial to recognize these messages and consciously choose to prioritize family play despite societal pressures.

Important Facts About Play and Leisure

Consider the following statistics:

Americans devote only 1.5 hours per week to sports and recreation on average

In Japan, 10% of all deaths of working men are attributed to overwork

Many individuals seek work to fill voids in their lives, neglecting leisure and family time

Low self-esteem, which affects one in three adults, can significantly impact motivation to play

These facts underscore the importance of intentionally incorporating play into family life.

Practical Tips for Enhancing Family Play

Here are some strategies to increase family playfulness:

1. Set aside unscheduled time for spontaneous family activities

2. Create a list of activities for children to do when bored

3. Find a balance between structured and unstructured time

4. Encourage creativity by allowing children to ask questions and try new things

5. Let children help decide family leisure activities

6. Schedule regular family nights

7. Participate in both cooperative and competitive activities as a family

8. Focus on the process of activities rather than the end result

9. Expose children to a wide range of activities

10. Examine your own leisure values and lifestyle

  

The Wisdom of Simplicity

Robert Fulghum's, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten reminds us of the fundamental principles that can guide family play:

Clean up your own mess

Take time to wander and observe the world around you

Balance different types of activities in your day

Share everything.

Play fair.

Don’t hit people.

Put things back where you found them.

Don’t take things that aren’t yours.

Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody.

Wash your hands before you eat.

Flush.

Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.

These simple yet profound ideas can serve as a foundation for meaningful family play.

Conclusion

Incorporating play into family life is not frivolous; it's a vital component of building strong, resilient family bonds. By understanding the importance of leisure, recognizing its benefits, and implementing practical strategies, families can create a lifestyle that values play and togetherness.

Remember, as the title suggests, "The family that plays together stays together." Make a commitment today to increase playfulness in your family life, and watch as it strengthens your connections and enhances your collective well-being.

Thank you, again, Lynn. By the way friends, if you ever call Lynn and need to leave her a voice mail message, you will get her recording that ends with, “And have a fun day.” We all need this reminder. Play together as a family and have a fun day!

Leadership Reflections on Max De Pree

Max DePree (1924-2017) was the son of D. J. De Pree (1891-1990), founder of Herman Miller Corporation of Holland, Michigan. Max became CEO in 1980 and served in that capacity untill 1987. He was a member of the company's Board of Directors until 1995. He graduated from Hope College and was a member of its board of trustees. He also served on the board of Fuller Theological Seminary and was involved with the Max De Pree Center for Leadership at Fuller. He is the author of numerous books and articles on leadership. All of these bring a perspective emphasizing the values of creativity, humility, relationships, and respect.

I met Max De Pree once and have enjoyed three of his leadership-related books. These are Leadership is an Art (1989), Leadership Jazz (1992), and Leading Without Power (1997). The quotes in this presentation are from those books.

I am a friend of Pastor Toby Gruppen, whose mother, Sally, was Executive Assistant to D. J. De Pree, Max De Pree, and other presidents of the Herman Miller Corporation (now MillerKnoll). The pictures at the end of this blog are from Sally’s home. She and Toby graciously hosted our family and shared stories about the company. Sally currently serves as Legacy Ambassador for MillerKnoll. Following are quotes from the three books mentioned above and pictures taken from our time with Sally and Toby.

Quotes from Leadership Jazz
"We cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are" (p. 74).

“A (jazz band) leader will pick the tune, set the tempo, and start the music, define the ‘style.’ After that it is up to the band to be disciplined and free, wild and restrained – leaders and followers, focused and wide-ranging, playing the music for the audience and accountable to the requirements of the band. Jazz-band leaders know how to integrate the ‘voices’ in the band without diminishing their uniqueness” (p. 103).

“… leaders need to learn not to inflict pain, but to bear it. It seems to me that if you are bearing pain properly… you ought to have the marks of the struggle. One ought to have bruised shins and skinned knees (p. 139).

“It takes more grace than tongue can tell to play the second fiddle well” (p. 198).

Quotes from Leadership Is an Art
“The leader is the ‘servant’ of his followers in that he
removes the obstacles that prevent them from doing their jobs… the true leader enables his or her followers to realize their full potential” (p. xx).

“Leadership is an art, something to be learned over time, not simply by reading books. Leadership is more tribal than scientific, more a weaving of relationships than an amassing of information…” (p. 3).

"The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is a servant" (p. 11).

"We need to give each other the space to grow, to be ourselves, to exercise our diversity. We need to give each other space so that we may both give and receive such beautiful things as ideas, openness, dignity, joy, healing, and inclusion" (p. 15).

"The signs of outstanding leadership appear primarily among the followers. Are the followers reaching their potential? Are they learning? Serving? Do they achieve the required results? Do they change with grace? Manage conflict?" (p. 12).

"Trust grows when people see leaders translate their personal integrity into organizational fidelity. At the heart of fidelity lies truth-telling and promise-keeping" (p. 59).

Quotes from Leading Without Power
"The goal of leadership is to make life better for others, not to impress them with your talents" (p. 22).

"When we think about the qualities of a leader, we need to consider how well they facilitate the performance of others, not just their own performance" (p. 28).

“One of the crucial tasks of leaders… is to help move groups of people, whether a family or a church or a school, in the direction of maturity as a community” (p. 76).

“The right to know is basic. Moreover, it is better to err on the side of sharing too much information than risk leaving someone in the dark. Information is power, but it is pointless power if hoarded (p. 103).

“While technical skill and lifetime learning are essential, I’m convinced that competence in relationships remains most important in making organizations places of realized potential” (pp. 166-167).

Summary
This has been a personal reflection on the life and writings of Max De Pree. He authored numerous leadership books. The quotes from three of his books emphasize creativity, humility, relationships, and respect. Pictures represent memories of gracious hospitality that was extended and powerful stories that were told by Sally Gruppen and her son Pastor Toby Gruppen. There is refreshing relevance to the work and writings of Max De Pree. I hope that you will enjoy reading some of his materials that follow.

Resources
Selected books by Max De Pree

Leadership Jazz. https://amzn.to/3W72rEf

Leadership is an Art. https://amzn.to/3zBIpJ3

Leading Without Power: Finding Hope in Serving Community. https://amzn.to/3W5rKqa

Called to Serve: Creating and Nurturing the Effective Volunteer Board. https://amzn.to/4cICccL

Fuller De Pree Center. https://depree.org/de-pree-journal/leadership-is-an-art/

Available as a YouTube video at https://youtu.be/0Hg6-LUwq9E

Supplementary online resources that may have been consulted include ChatGPT, Claude, Copilot, Google Gemini, and Google Search, and Wikipedia

Church and School Education (CASE) Resources is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, affiliate advertising designed to provide a means for sites to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com.

Reformation Era Educational Contributions

Do you ever wonder where many of today’s educational values originated? Are you curious about how we got universal education, civic responsibility for schools, and curriculum content for general education and church education? This presentation aims to answer such questions by summarizing the contributions of selected educators during the Protestant Reformation era in Europe. For our purposes, this period began in 1517 with Martin Luther’s Ninety-five Theses. It ended in 1648 with the Peace of Westphalia, the end of the Protestant and Catholic Thirty-Year War. A timeline will illustrate important events and individuals of this period as well as related events before and after it.

The Protestant Reformation was a religious revolution that took place in the Church in Western Europe in the 16th century and beyond. It was in response to claimed abuses in the Roman Catholic Church. The Reformation became the basis for the founding of Protestantism and had far-reaching religious, political, economic, social, and educational effects. Some of the marks (or beliefs) that are associated with the Reformation are referred to as the “Five Solas.” We will identify the “Solas” and survey selected educators and characteristics of the Reformation era, with an emphasis on education.

Five Solas of the Reformation
Sola Scriptura: by Scripture (the Bible) alone
Sola fide: through faith alone
Sola gratia: by grace alone

Solo Christo: through Christ alone Soli Deo gloria: to the glory of God alone

Timeline
1370-1415 John Hus, Czech Pastor, Theologian, and Reformer
1406-1486 Johannes Gutenberg, 1440 Invention of the Printing Press, 1455 Printed Bible
1466-1536 Desiderius Erasmus, Catholic, Humanist
1483-1546 Martin Luther, German Pastor, Theologian, Reformer; 1517 Ninety-five Thesis
1484-1531 Huldrych Zwingli, Swiss Pastor and Theologian
1491-1556 Ignatius of Loyola, 1540 Jesuits
1492 Discovery of the New World, Global Exploration
1497-1560 Philip Melanchthon, “Teacher of Germany”
1509-1564 John Calvin, French Theologian, Pastor, Reformer, 1563 Heidelberg Catechism
1514-1572 John Knox, Scottish Clergyman, Reformer
1545-1563 Council of Trent, Counter-Reformation Catholic Decrees
1561-1626 Francis Bacon, Scientific Method
1592-1670 John Amos Comenius, Moravian Bishop, Father of Developmentalism
1618-1648 Thirty Years’ War, Reformation vs. Holy Roman Empire, 1648 Peace of Westphalia
1646 Westminster Confession

Late Middle Ages
There is a transitory nature to education in the fourteenth and fifteenth centuries. While papal directives urged clerics to provide parish schools, there was a lack of consistency in doing this and no evidence of universal education for boys and girls during this time. References can be found for practices such as tutoring, parish priests teaching small groups of children (mostly boys), and independent schools related to cathedrals, guilds, or charitable institutions. However, historians suggest that for 1 in five men, and 1 in 20 women could read and even fewer could write.

Protestant Era Educational Reforms
The emergence of the Protestant Reformation resulted in new religious, political, and social structures, including education. The following slides identify selected theological leaders and their associated educational reforms. This information is based primarily on the book, “The Protestant Reformations,” edited by Ulinka Rublack (Oxford University Press, 2017).

In general, the common threads associated with the Reformers include biblical and theological education grounded in Reformation distinctives, as well as classical studies, universal education regardless of gender or social class, teaching in the vernacular language rather than Latin, and church and civil authorities sharing responsibility for schooling.

1483-1546 Martin Luther, German Pastor, Theologian, Reformer, 1517 Ninety-five Thesis
Luther aimed to make quality liberal arts and theological training widely available to both sexes through a standardized, state-run school system with teaching in the vernacular. Some of the characteristics included the following.

• Universal Education for all children, regardless of gender or social status. He believed that education was essential for everyone (not just the elite) to be able to read and understand the Bible and to participate fully in the Christian life.
• The University of Wittenberg, founded by Frederick 3rd in 1502, was influenced by Luther to become a center for education according to Protestant principles. This included an emphasis on biblical exegesis, studies of the original languages, and teaching and learning in the German vernacular. Luther joined the faculty in 1512 and Philipp Melanchthon, his close colleague, in 1518. The curriculum included the seven liberal arts (grammar, logic, rhetoric, arithmetic, geometry, music, and astronomy) in addition to biblical and theological studies.
  
• Bible and Catechisms for teaching to youth and adults. Luther translated into German the Latin New Testament in 1522 and the entire Bible in 1534. The Small Catechism and Large Catechism were written in 1529.
• Radical approach to music. Luther wrote 37 hymns in the vernacular German with a popular, singable musical style; the most well-known being “A Mighty Fortress is our God.” He encouraged congregational singing and published the first hymnal entitled “Geistliche Lieder” (Spiritual Songs) in 1524.

1484-1531 Huldrych Zwingli – Switzerland, Pastor and Theologian
Zwingli's theological reforms were not as broad as those of Luther or Calvin, yet he significantly influenced education in Protestant Swiss regions.

• Education should be for all children, not just the elite and not just boys, and schools should be regulated by civil and Protestant church authorities, rather than the Catholic Church.
• Theological and biblical studies were emphasized in addition to education in classical Greek and Latin literature.
• Writings included “A Short Christian Introduction” (1523) as an introductory catechism and “The Shepherd” (1524), a dialogue for teaching Reformed doctrine.

1497-1560 Philip Melanchthon
Collegue of Martin Luther and a key figure in the development of Lutheran education.

• Developed a comprehensive education system for Protestant schools in Saxony (present-day eastern Germany, including the cities of Leipzig, Wittenberg, Meissen, and Freiberg), covering elementary through university levels. These were referred to as Protestant gymnasia (secondary schools) that prepared students for university studies.
• Served as a professor at the University of Wittenberg, where he helped reform its curriculum and organization based on Protestant principles.
• Advocated the establishment of schools for providing a comprehensive education, grounded in both religious and classical learning.
• 
  Developed Protestant educational theory and practices to such a degree that he was given the title, “Praeceptor Germaniae” (Teacher of Germany).
• Wrote numerous educational and theological textbooks for guiding effective teaching content, methods, and curriculum design, including one of the earliest systemic presentations of Protestant theology, "Loci Communes Rerum Theologicarum," (1521) translated from Latin to English "Common Places of Theological Matters" or "Common Topics of Theological Matters," a theological textbook for teaching Lutheran doctrine.

1509-1564 John Calvin
Established Protestant education in Geneva, Switzerland that was based on Reformed theological principles.

• Developed The Academy of Geneva (1559), with the assistance of Theodore Beza, to train ministers and provide a general education for the city's youth, later becoming the University of Geneva. The Academy had two levels: the Schola Privata (a preparatory school for younger students) and the Schola Publica (a higher education institution for advanced studies, especially for clergy, teachers, lawyers, and public servants).
• Established a classical liberal arts foundation that included the trivium (grammar, logic, rhetoric) and quadrivium (arithmetic, geometry, music, astronomy), along with theological and biblical studies.
• Provided instruction in the vernacular (French), rather than just Latin, as well as training in biblical interpretation.
• Wrote catechisms for teaching Reformed doctrine to children, church members, and new followers, especially the Geneva Catechism (1536/1541) and the Catechism of the Church of Geneva (1560); Institutes of the Christian Religion, 1536/1559; The Golden Book of the True Christian Life, 1550; as well as multiple commentaries, the first being on Romans in 1539.
  

1592-1670 John Amos Comenius
An educator, theologian (Moravian Brothern Church), and philosopher who is viewed (by Jean Piaget) as the father of modern developmental approaches to education.

• Served as professor and rector of Calvinist College in Saros-Patak (Northern Hungary, 1614-1618), teacher and pastor in Leszno, Poland (1618-1628), and was commissioned by the Swedish government (1638) and British Parliament (1641) to design their educational systems. He also influenced educational reform in Hungary.
• Emphasized the importance of education for all, regardless of social status or gender, and advocated for teaching methods that were respectful of children's developmental stages and interests.
• 
  Best known for three major works: “The Gate of Languages Unlocked,” (1631) on language learning; “The Great Didactic,” (1657) on educational theory and reform; and “The Visible World in Pictures,” (1658) the first children's picture textbook.
• Considered to be the father of developmental, experiential, and inclusive approaches to teaching and learning.
  

These reformers contributed to the transformation of educational systems in Europe by promoting literacy, religious instruction, and the establishment of universal edu
cation, all of which are foundational for teaching and learning standards as we know them today.

Catholic Counter-Reformation
1491-1556 Ignatius of Loyola, 1534/1540 Jesuits
Founder of the Society of Jesus (Jesuits), which had a significant impact on Catholic education during the Counter-Reformation. His principles guided the Catholic church in providing education that emphasized teaching Catholic doctrine, moral training, spiritual disciplines, and classical learning.

• Established a network of Jesuit colleges and universities across Europe and later in missionary territories to provide Catholic education. The curriculum of these schools was known as the “Ratio Studiorum,” official uniform guidelines for the organization and curriculum of Jesuit schools.
  
  
• 
  
  
  Developed spiritual disciplines and practices that are a foundation for Catholic, as well as many Protestant churches. Several of these are “spiritual exercises” (meditations, prayers, and mental exercises), “contemplation and meditation” (contemplation on Scripture, prayer, and imagination), “obedience and humility,” and “spiritual direction” (guidance from a spiritual director or mentor).

Summary
The Protestant Reformation led to significant educational reforms initiated by key theological leaders such as Luther, Zwingli, Melanchthon, Calvin, and Comenius. They established universal education, focused on biblical, theological, and classical learning, emphasized teaching in the vernacular, developed catechisms and educational materials, and established education with shared oversight by church and civil authorities. The Catholic Church responded through the Jesuits, led by Ignatius of Loyola, by promoting Catholic doctrine, moral training, spiritual disciplines, and classical learning in the Jesuit colleges and universities.

Resources
• Rublack, Ulinka (ed.). The Protestant Reformations. Oxford University Press, 2017. https://amzn.to/3yGVbWk
• Towns, Elmer (ed.). A History of Religious Educators. Baker Book House, 1975. https://digitalcommons.liberty.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1023&context=towns_books
• Anthony, Michael J., and Warren S. Benson. Exploring the History and Philosophy of Christian Education: Principles for the 21st Century. Kregel Publications. 2003. https://amzn.to/4bMOXmn
• Reformation Timeline: https://www.apuritansmind.com/wp-content/uploads/MiscImages/ReformationTimeline_1.jpg

Available as a YouTube video at https://youtu.be/QCGG07o3lEs

Supplementary online resources that may have been consulted include ChatGPT, Claude, Copilot, Google Gemini, and Google Search, and Wikipedia

Church and School Education (CASE) Resources is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, affiliate advertising designed to provide a means for sites to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com.

I Am 80 Years Old!

I turned 80 on April 18, 2024. Turning 80 is the reason for the word CELEBRATE being my word-of-the-year. I am 80 years old!

It is amazing to have reached this milestone. When it happened, I was recognized with congratulatory cards from friends, family, eye doctor, financial advisor, church seniors group, and even in the church bulletin. In our pickleball group, several friends said, “I would have guessed that you are only around 70.” But, I am 80 years old!

Many never reach the age of 80. One source, MacroTrends, estimates life expectancy to be around 79 in 2024. Even the Bible acknowledges the uniqueness of reaching this age. One passage says, “The days of our years are threescore years and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labor and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away” (Psalm 90:10). I am still here, and I am 80 years old!

It seems especially astonishing for me to reach 80, because I am a stage 4 colon cancer survivor, almost leaving this life because of its spread to other areas and a traumatic reaction to chemotherapy. So, here I am, 80 years old, living fully even though missing a few parts, including a section of the colon, the appendix, a part of the liver, the gallbladder, and a kidney. While not physically complete, I am 80 years old!

Perhaps as a result of past health challenges, I have chosen to extend this time of joyful celebration. Of course, this would not be possible without the lavish love and spectacular support of Marlene (best friend, wife, and chief encouragement organizer [CEO]). A pre-celebration began on Monday, April 15 with Marlene baking “Burt-day Braun-ies” for me to take to my weekly pickleball group, which then kicked into full gear on my birthday on Thursday, April 18, and is extending through Sunday, May 5. Why not? I am 80 years old!

Marlene surprised me by inviting my sister, Helen (PA), and brother, Roy (NJ), to join us. Helen was not able to make the trip, but Roy flew in on my birthday. Roy and I spent more time together, did more things, and told more stories than we had in the last 60 years. The big day began with my picking up Roy from the Grand Rapids airport. We drove around Grand Rapids, pointing out places where Marlene and I had lived, worked, and worshiped. We even stopped at Marge’s Donut Den. Roy and I spent much of the next day walking and talking our way through the Gilmore Car Museum. We even made a stop at Sweetwater Donuts. Yes, it is permissible to have donuts two days in a row. After all, I am 80 years old!

Instead of one birthday meal, we had three. On Thursday night, joined by Stephen, Lisa, Petra, Danny, James, and Julia, we feasted on smoked brisket curated by Stephen and a four-tier birthday cake created by Marlene. In recognition of our son, Peter, we blew out the candles together (picture above). On Friday, Marlene, Roy, and I were joined by Marlene’s brother Del and his wife Judy for the second birthday dinner at Red Rock Grill in Macatawa Legends. Then, on Saturday, Marlene and I had an intimate pizza party (with another cake) at Stephen and Lisa’s house. Three days of celebration with even more on the horizon. We could do all this because I am 80 years old!

Still to come (as I write this and as the celebration continues) is a family overnight trip to Shipshewana, IN, Amish country. Marlene and I, together with Stephen, Lisa, Petra, Danny, James, and his girlfriend Julia, will have an Amish-style family dinner, attend a Johnny Cash tribute concert, and stay overnight at the Blue Gate Inn. Shipshewana, two hours from Holland, is a favorite getaway place for Marlene and me. It seems fitting to bring closure to this season of celebration by sharing “Shipshe.” And, I hope that the artist singing the Johnny Cash songs will include “Precious Memories.” I have so many, since, I am 80 years old!

But wait. Maybe my birthday celebration is not yet over. One of my goals has been to climb Angels Landing at Zion National Park. Our granddaughter, Petra, has just secured a permit for July. Wow! What a great way to celebrate being 80. And, Marlene and I are about halfway through a Route 66 road trip that we started a couple of years ago. And, I have also been reading about The Great River Road, a trip that follows the Mississippi River from Lake Itasca (MN) to New Orleans (LA). We should keep on celebrating now that I am 80 years old!

In closing this celebration summary, may it be said of me, “[He] will still bear fruit in old age, [he] will stay fresh and green, proclaiming, ‘the Lord is upright; he is my rock…’” (Psalm 92:14-15). With God’s help, Marlene’s loving support, and the encouragement from family and friends; it is the desire of my heart to continue bearing fruit and staying green, even though, I am 80 years old!